offmangolog

Good Reading

A couple years ago, Random House did up two lists of the 100 best novels of the 20th Century One list was chosen by a Board of Prominent Thinkers," the other by a poll of over four hundred thousand readers.

The Top Ten, according to the Board:

1. Ulysses, James Joyce
2. The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. A Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man, James Joyce
4. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov
5. Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
6. The Sound And The Fury, William Faulkner
7. Catch-22, Joseph Heller
8. Darkness At Noon, Arthur Koestler
9. Sons And Lovers, D. H. Lawrence
10. The Grapes Of Wrath, John Steinbeck

It's not a bad list. Ulysses is a painfully obvious choice for the top slot, and I was a bit disappointed not to see To Kill a Mockingbird or Watership Down in the Top Ten, or even in the list at all. But overall, not bad.

And the Top Ten, according to the readers:

1. Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand
2. The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
3. Battlefield Earth, L. Ron Hubbard
4. The Lord of the Rings, J. R. R. Tolkien
5. To Kill A Mockingbird, Harper Lee
6. 1984, George Orwell
7. Anthem, Ayn Rand
8. We The Living, Ayn Rand
9. Mission Earth, L. Ron Hubbard
10. Fear, L. Ron Hubbard

Of ten slots, four (including the top two) are taken by Ayn Rand and three by L. Ron Hubbard. So if this list is any indication, we have a serious problem:

There are a couple hundred thousand radical über-capitalists and Scientologists running amok. And given that they breed like bunnies and that this poll was taken in 1998, those numbers could be well into half a million by now.

At this point, we're well past the possibility of using non-aggressive methods to curb their numbers, presenting us with a hard choice: herd them into reservations where they can breed in a controlled habitat, or introduce a wild strain of Marxist into their populations to thin their numbers. I'm down with either, but, heaven knows we need to do something soon.

August 04, 2003 at 10:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (8)

"A Rigli, Rigli Bad Movie"

For God's sake, don't go see GIGLI: it's much more fun to just read the reviews. My personal favorite...

"Such an utter wreck of a movie you expect to see it lying on its side somewhere in rural Pennsylvania, with a small gang of engineers circling and a wisp of smoke rising from the caboose."

August 01, 2003 at 11:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

There Is A God

On August 23rd, one of my favorite movies of all time, ALIENS, is showing at Lincoln Center's Walter Reade Theater. In Cinemascope, no less.

Happy happy happy happy.

August 01, 2003 at 10:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"And That's Really My Only Comment I Got."

I've been reading the transcript of President Bush's Wednesday press conference, in which he, among other things, announces his intentions to restrict the legal definition of marriage, making the term applicable only for heterosexuals and ensuring that same-sex couples can't be legally married (which probably thrilled Vice-President Cheney' lesbian daughter and her partner, and even Cheney himself, who had said just the opposite in a past debate). And what struck me about the question that provoked Bush's typically deplorable, small-minded response is the incongruity of it, given that the press conference up to that point had dealt entirely with the Middle East, and Iraq specifically. Given the circumstances, "What's your view on homosexuality?" is so ridiculously off-topic that it feels like a planted question whose only purpose was to get the ball rolling on this whole heterosexual marriage thing. And it certainly did get that ball rolling, with the Vatican releasing a twelve-page condemnation of homosexuality, gay marriage, and gay adoption the very next day. It's been a banner week for bigoted hypocritical assholes, in other words, and I shudder to think of where that ball's rolling next.

Anyway. Back at the press conference, someone asked a good question that's been kind of lost in the shuffle since:

QUESTION: Mr. President, with no opponent, how can you spend $170 million or more on your primary campaign?

BUSH: Just watch. Keep going.

QUESTION: And with 15 fund-raisers scheduled for the summer months, do you worry about the perception that you're unduly attentive to the interests of people who can afford to spend $2,000 to see you?

BUSH: I think American people, now that they've realized I'm going to seek re-election, expect me to seek re-election. They expect me to actually do what candidates do. And so you're right, I'll be spending some time going out and asking the American people to support me. But most of my time, as I say in my speeches — as I'm sure you've been bored to tears listening to — is that there's a time for politics, and that's going to be later on. I've got a lot to do and I will continue doing my job. And my job will be to work to make America more secure. Steve asked the question about this al-Qaeda possible attack. Every day I am reminded that our nation is still vulnerable. Every day I'm reminded about what 9-11 means to America. That's a lesson, by the way, I'll never forget, the lesson of 9-11, because, and I remember right after 9-11 saying that this will be a different kind of war, but it's a war. And sometimes there'll be action and sometimes there won't, but we're still threatened. And I see that almost every day. And therefore, that is a major part of my job. And the other part of my job that I talked about is, you know, the economic security of the American people. And I spend a lot of time on the economy, going out and talking to the American people about the economy, and will continue to do so. But, no, listen, since I've made the decision to run of course I'm going to do what candidates do. And we're having pretty good success. It's kind of an interesting barometer, early barometer about the support we're garnering.

What do the events of September 11th have to do with Bush blowing $170 million on his political well-being? Absolutely nothing, of course, but it's a great example of his ability to neutralize a potentially damaging issue by changing the topic of conversation to one in which he's portrayed in a better light. And people DO fall for this, believe me. Joe Shmoe sitting at home in Podunk, Iowa, watching the press conference (if anyone even watches those things anymore), won't remember the $170 million...he'll remember the "Lesson of 9-11." Which is, in a nutshell, "Follow the leader and don't think too much."

Don't mind me, I'm just a bit disgusted. If you are, too, go here and download some fliers and post 'em up. They're designed by my talented and swell co-worker Ari, and maybe it'll make you feel better.

August 01, 2003 at 10:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Bridge and Arch

Taken on the Fourth of July, in the park under the Brooklyn Bridge, with a Lomo:

bridgearch.jpg

Check out the full-size image in my new photolog.

July 31, 2003 at 06:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

I Heart Bruce Campbell

brucecampbell.jpg

This will be the best movie ever. Ever. All other movies can just go home and wish they were this movie. But they won't be. Because only this movie will have Bruce Campbell playing Elvis. An old, fat Elvis. In a nursing home. Fighting an evil creature that apparently eats elderly people. With Ossie Davis as his sidekick.

As I said. Best Movie Ever.

July 31, 2003 at 06:24 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Lance

A friend of mine told me about it over a couple of drinks, a couple days ago, and I refused to believe it. And then I told to another friend about it tonight, over a couple more drinks, and he didn't believe it either.

So I was just a bit surprised to find the printed story in a newspaper article I found on the subway ride home.

On Friday, in a 47 KM tim trial on the twelfth stage of the Tour de France, Lance Armstrong lost thirteen pounds in under an hour.

Thirteen pounds. He ran out of water two-thirds of the way through the course and sweated out almost ten percent of his body weight in under sixty minutes. And he came in second. And I don't even need to mention that this is a guy who was near-dead from cancer a couple years ago.

Lance Armstrong has officially reached superhuman status.

Lance, holding on to his lead over fellow superhuman Tyler Hamilton, who managed to win Wednesday's trial with a collarbone broken in two places, summed it up pretty well:

"I'm not overly satisfied with my performance," said Armstrong, "but it could have been worse."

July 25, 2003 at 08:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

GBV

I've loved Guided By Voices for years. Got hooked on 'em with 1999's splendid Ric Okasek-produced Do The Collapse: crashing waves of guitars, irresistible hooks, vocals threatening to pull down the sky. The album is a concentrated mass of pure pop, and it's surely no coincidence that the cover consists of what looks like multiple Volkswagen Beetles compressed into a cube. Then I began digging through their back catalog (and they've got one hell of a back catalog). Picked up Bee Thousand and Vampire on Titus, sucked in by album jackets listing an inordinately large number of songs, with titles like "Gold Star for Robot Boy" and "Superior Sector Janitor X," and became hypnotized by just how amazingly great all these songs were.

[And by "amazingly great," I don't mean polished, or radio-friendly, or tonally coherent, because GBV songs don't tend to be any of the above. They're messy pop nuggets that often manage to cover half the sonic landscape in under two minutes, somehow managing to drop you off where you started with your hair all mussed up wondering what the hell just happened, the musical equivalent of hopping in a stolen Porsche driven by your friend with Attention Deficit Disorder. That's what I mean by "amazingly great."]

The thing is, when your new favorite band has almost twenty albums to their credit, not counting the couple dozen side projects the lead singer somehow manages to churn out in his spare time, and you're working on a limited budget, and you don't have a brain the size of a planet, you're not going to get through their entire oeuvre, or even remember the names of most of the songs, great as those songs and their names may be. I got a couple oldies, then picked up the thread from there and bought everything after.

Then, on one happy day, eMusic came into my life, and the resourceful little gnomes that churn out "My Recommendations" somehow popped up with Alien Lanes, despite the fact that I hadn't got any GBV from the site previously, and wasn't even aware that they were on the list of featured artists. And now, while I'm not kicking myself too hard for missing this glorious work of pop genius, I AM doing my best to make up for it. So that's why I've been listening to "As We Go Up, We Go Down," which could have been a number-one hit by the Beatles in another dimension, pretty much nonstop for the last week.

July 22, 2003 at 11:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Caffeine

It hit me around 8:30 or so this evening.

I had trouble concentrating. I couldn't focus. I felt jittery. I began to sweat even more profusely than usual (which, on a day when the humidity's at 97%, is a hell of a lot). The part of the brain that formulates responses to inquiries like "How are you doing?" or "Did you get my email?" started backfiring, so that a simple question suddenly required an inordinately long time to answer, and the answers that came felt vague and incoherent. In short, I lost my ability to deal.

Why? Where was this coming from? Was I having a mild stroke? Had someone slipped me a mickey?

And then, it came to me. As I had sat writing in the little cafe down the street earlier that evening, I had neglected to ask for decaf. My iced mocha had been fully caffeinated, and my central nervous system was responding like it had stepped on a fallen power line.

The thing is, I don't drink coffee. Ever. Or Coke, or Pepsi, or any carbonated beverages whatsoever. My morning drink is a glass of orange juice, if that. I never got the taste for coffee, and while I'll occasionally down a mocha frappacino from Starbucks or, more likely, a decaf iced mocha from the aforementioned cafe (my little blow against corporate monopolies), I don't do the coffee thing. And as a result, my caffeine intake is next to nil, and my chemical resistance to it is accordingly nonexistent. So when I DO get some caf in me, it hits me like a friggin' rocket.

I'm finally settling down now, but I've got a slight headache, and I'm still a little twitchy. So this is my reminder to myself that, no matter how tired you are when you grab something to drink while getting some writing done, DON'T GO CAFFEINATED. 'Cause, brother, it'll mess you up.

July 22, 2003 at 10:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Virtual

One of the many things I love about working at Tekserve is that they're the kind of lovable freaks who throw a carnival in the middle of a convention, and then take a three-dimensional photograph of it.

July 18, 2003 at 12:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (2)

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Clicking

  • Textism
  • etherfarm: etherblog
  • Hivelogic
  • Airbag
  • the foreign embassy

Hearing

  • Cliff Martinez - Wormhole

    Wormhole
    Cliff Martinez: Solaris

  • Lush - Light From a Dead Star

    Light From a Dead Star
    Lush: Split

  • The Soft Boys - Mr. Kennedy

    Mr. Kennedy
    The Soft Boys: Nextdoorland

Reading

  • Sol Yurick: The Warriors

    Sol Yurick: The Warriors

  • Elmore Leonard: Valdez Is Coming

    Elmore Leonard: Valdez Is Coming

  • Nick James: Heat

    Nick James: Heat

Photo Albums

  • Blimp
    Fourth of July, Brooklyn
  • Orange
    offmangofoto

Recent Posts

  • Good Reading
  • "A Rigli, Rigli Bad Movie"
  • There Is A God
  • "And That's Really My Only Comment I Got."
  • Bridge and Arch
  • I Heart Bruce Campbell
  • Lance
  • GBV
  • Caffeine
  • Virtual

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  • July 2003

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